Christmas in Miami II
I am surviving another Christmas in Miami and it is a strange event. Everything is strange here really, but Christmas is most especially weird for me. First off, no snow...which in and of itself is not a bad thing, but it is hard to listen to "I'm dreaming of a white Christmas," and "Frosty the snowman" when there is no snow and certainly no snow man. I don't care who disagrees with me but lights on palm trees look tacky no matter how you do it...it's just wrong. And how dare I not mention our neighborhood santa competition.
That's right, apparently the coolest thing that you can do in Little Havana is dress up like Santa and cruise the neighborhood. Or so two of my neighbors believe. One is an elderly man who has been dressing up like Santa nearly every day since September and wheeling around the blocks in his motorized wheelchair screaming (what I can somewhat understand) Spanish profanities at people passing by. It's hilarious. But wait, theres more...there is a second Santa who has been dressing as such since about October, who drives around our neighborhood in the loudest van ever created selling fruit and vegtables and blaring really terrible Spanish polka style music (we're talking manic accordian solos). Now, these two sights in and of themselves would be enough to make me chuckle for a good long time...but it gets better.
The other day I pulled in my driveway after work and I see them, the dueling Santas, down the block screaming at each other (in Spanish of course). Apparently it is taboo to cruise on another Santa's turf and the battle had begun. For nearly two hours the two Santas screamed at each other until finally the Santa in the fruit truck drove off and I haven't seen him since (sniff...sniff). I'm not sure what Santa #1 said or did, or threatened to say or do, but it worked and now he has his rightful kingdom back wherein he can happily spread Christmas cheer by chasing school kids down the sidewalks and throwing things at passing cars. Ah...there's just nothing like Christmas in Miami.
That's right, apparently the coolest thing that you can do in Little Havana is dress up like Santa and cruise the neighborhood. Or so two of my neighbors believe. One is an elderly man who has been dressing up like Santa nearly every day since September and wheeling around the blocks in his motorized wheelchair screaming (what I can somewhat understand) Spanish profanities at people passing by. It's hilarious. But wait, theres more...there is a second Santa who has been dressing as such since about October, who drives around our neighborhood in the loudest van ever created selling fruit and vegtables and blaring really terrible Spanish polka style music (we're talking manic accordian solos). Now, these two sights in and of themselves would be enough to make me chuckle for a good long time...but it gets better.
The other day I pulled in my driveway after work and I see them, the dueling Santas, down the block screaming at each other (in Spanish of course). Apparently it is taboo to cruise on another Santa's turf and the battle had begun. For nearly two hours the two Santas screamed at each other until finally the Santa in the fruit truck drove off and I haven't seen him since (sniff...sniff). I'm not sure what Santa #1 said or did, or threatened to say or do, but it worked and now he has his rightful kingdom back wherein he can happily spread Christmas cheer by chasing school kids down the sidewalks and throwing things at passing cars. Ah...there's just nothing like Christmas in Miami.
posted by Juliet at
12:41 PM
2 Comments:
yeah, but the crazies in Cincy (althought smelly) don't chase you down the street yelling "nice backside" in Spanish. (and I don't really mean "nice backside")
By
Juliet, at 12:40 PM
Being a Miami native, I'm used to our special style of Christmas. I mean Santa in Bermuda shorts.
But I do understand how you feel about the lack of snow. As much as I like Christmas music, I can't fully get into it.
And Little Havana is such a cool place. I used to live on NW 3rd and 16th Ave. Right across from the Orange Bowl. Characters are everywhere there. Especially after a game.
By
Awful Pirate, at 1:32 PM
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