another birthday passes

So it was my 24th birthday yesterday.  For those of you who are just tuning in I just wanted to inform you that you may still feel free to send birthday wishes of good will and money to my home address.  But seriously...money is always welcome even when it's not my birthday!

Anyway, it was a good birthday (thanks for asking).  I had my family call and a bunch of my friends remembered (which made me realize once again that I am blessed to have friends that are better friends than I am).  I took the day before my birthday off from both my jobs and got to sit at home watching movies and eating cookie dough and drinking chocolate milkshakes.  It was a great way to celebrate my last day of being 23!!  I had an excuse to sit inside all day because it was rainy and cold here in Cincy.  I even made myself hot cocoa in the afternoon because I was so cold! 

For some reason this birthday I feel older.  It usually doesn't happen that way.  Usually I wake up on my birthday not feeling any older than the day before and finding it silly that I should feel any different being as only one day has passed.  But this year was different.  I feel 24, however that is supposed to feel.  It just seems like I have now warped into full adulthood.  I am no-longer an early-twenty something, I am a mid-twenty something.  I just thought that I would have a lot more figured out by this time in life....but I guess most everyone feels that way.  Except for those of us who are lucky to either not have any expectations of themselves or who are keeping pace with those expectations.  I know that is a sentence fragment, but I just don't care.  I'm 24 and I can write in sentence fragments as often as I feel!  Right?!

it's a conspiracy

The trouble with working at the good ole' Rohs Street Cafe during the summer is that it is ridiculously slow.  Not like our business is hopping all the time in the winter either, but a hot cup of coffee definitely has more of an appeal in the frigid month of January than it does in the steamy heat of July (plus we don't have air conditioning in the cafe).  Anyway, the slow business is almost torture for an extrovert such as me.  If I am by myself I like it to be because I chose to have alone time or am being productive (i.e. reading a book in the park, napping on my couch, etc.).  But sitting here with one or two customers dwindling in every hour is irritating beyond reason for me.  I would either us be busy (busy= one customer every ten minutes) or have us shut down so that I can be productive (productive= cleaning like a maniac).  I am not a person who appreciates in-between times.  I could write a whole blog on that psychologically loaded statement, but will refrain for the sake of brevity. 
It's almost like I'm on one of those gag TV shows.  I go to do something, and regardless of how long it takes, in walks a customer during the middle of it.  This especially occurs when I leave my station to use the bathroom.  Now using the bathroom when you are the only person behind the counter does get complicated.  You don't want to leave any customers waiting and you don't want to wet your pants...it's a delicate balance you see.  But it is almost an 85% probability that when I leave to use the bathroom, just as I'm getting situated, someone walks in the door!  This place could be empty for hours and the minute that I need to leave the counter....in walks a customer!  I'm pretty sure it's part of a conspiracy to drive me insane.  I think that there's a trigger on the bathroom door that signals someone parked across the street to get up and walk in at just the right time (or wrong time shall I say).  I don't understand this phenomenon.  If any of you fans out there have an explanation, feel free to educate me on the matter. 
Maybe I could solve the whole issue by leaving the counter more frequently...thereby triggering the customers and diffusing this whole twisted experiment.  I'll let you in on any further discoveries. 

sad realizations

While visiting a friend's blog this morning I realized that he had my blog linked as "Juliet's blog of angry single women."  I laughed, because it was funny.  And then it hit me...am I an angry single woman?  I was driving yesterday and had another realization along the same lines.  I was filtering through all my ex-relationships (as most of you know I have a bad habit of overanalyzing) and realized that I am most happy and healthy when I am not in a relationship.  This to me was a sad realization.  Now this does have a little to do with the fact that I have not had a really great relationship... ever.  Also, my break-ups aren't usually easy and often take quite a while from which to recover.  Inronically enough though, it's usually after the recovery year that I feel the most refreshed and confident.  For example...right now.  So I conclude this most confusing and half-thought-out blog by saying confidently....yes, I am single.   But no, I am not angry (atleast not at this particular moment).  I am glad to only have to worry about myself when making decisions.  It is a free and easy time of life and I am enjoying it.  Amen.

beyond description

So I'm back from my South Dakota reservation adventure.  For those fans who have not recently tuned in, I took a trip with a high school youth group to Pine Ridge Indian Reservation in South Dakota for a week.  We drove all the way there and back....I don't recommend driving.  Now that I'm back I have a variety of mixed emotions, and I'm not quite sure if I will ever think the same.  The poverty level on the rez reminded me of Honduras and I kept expecting the people to speak spanish.  The sadness and anger are overwhelming sometimes. 
The camp that we stayed at was only 4 miles from the site of the Wounded Knee Massacre...it's a very sad story in which the US cavalry basically slaughtered most of a band from the Lakota Souix tribe and left them to die in a blizzard.  Even though Wounded Knee happened over 100 years ago, the pain is still a reality for many of the people living there.  I heard the story every day for a week.  Just imagine the pain and resentment that builds after generations of being inundated with such a tradgedy.  It would be like someone from Manhattan watching the twin towers fall every day on video and then having to live in an Arab or Islamic state of captivity.   It's revolting some of the things that the US government did to the indigenous people while "winning the west."  I understand that our freedom comes at a cost, but how can anyone do such a thing and decide it was just in any sense? 
But there is hope on the rez.  There are people there who speak the language of the Lakota nation, and who teach the ways to their children.  There are people who have jobs and who support their families.  There are healthy families on the rez that love and care and support one another.  But there are unproportioned amounts of unhappy or apathetic souls who wander jobless on the highways or abuse their families.  There is pain so deep that sometimes I just had to cry because it was beyond description.  I pray that hope and justice come quickly to these people...may God use me in any way possible to help bring that about. 

keep on truckin'

So, I know that you will all grieve my absence, but you will just have to go on blogging without me for a while. I am goin' west to seek out new adventures. On Thursday I am leaving for a short-term mission trip to South Dakota. I am a sponsor for a high school youth group. We will be driving out there (a two day trip both ways) and then staying on the Pine Ridge Native American Indian reservation making bunk beds for kids. It will be an awesome trip (as long as I can get enough sleep and caffeine). I am so excited. I've never been to South Dakota and I've never been to a reservation. This particular reservation is one of the poorest in the nation and I know that these kids (and maybe even some of the adults) will be very shocked at the conditions. Pray for patience, endurance, and for an open heart as I hope to serve effectively. So I will be leaving the world of blog for a little bit and then re-joining all of you again when I return from my native American excursion. Peace out.