i hate money

I'm not in a very good mood right now, unfortunatly. I have just found out that my account at 5/3 is frozen and my electronically debited student loan is now officially overdue. I'm sure it's not as big a deal as it sounds and that it will all get taken care of and that everything will work out fine, but I can't help but feel a little defeated. Right now i am living on a VERY fixed budget and I can't afford to make any financial mistakes that may cost me any extra money (i.e. missing payments and making late fees). When news like this comes I feel utterly helpless and unprepared and incompetent and I hate it!!! It's times like this that make waitressing sound appealing becuase I could work one night and make up for any financial gliches. However, this time I can't rely on myself to fix this problem. I know that I will learn a lot, but I don't like it. I like being able to fix things, especially when it comes to myself. I like being self-sufficient and not having to rely on anyone or anything else. "This goddess can and will stay intact!" For those of you who aren't Katharine Hepburn fans, that is a quote from the Philidelphia Story. But it is in our weakness that God's grace and providence is made clearer. Now matter how much we like to do it all ourselves, sometimes he'll give us a little kick to remind us of who is in charge. Ouch! I get it.