last stand

This morning I said good-bye to the church that has been my home church for three years. I have been on the verge of tears all day. I have been distracting myself enough that I don't break down, but it's hard. I will miss so many people that have become such a big part of my life it makes me so sad. I love this community. I love summer sundays and lunches after church. I love Saturday afternoon worship team practices. I love that it's freezing in the winter and sizzling in the summer. I love the ambulances that always seem to pass by during communion time. I love the hugs and smiles and warmth and love that so many people have lavished upon me. I love the support that I have gotten during these difficult, confusing, and often frustrating three years. I love that I got to give back to something and see the difference that it made. I love this church and the people that go here and I will miss it more than I can say. This community is unlike any that I have ever been involved with and that is so precious to me. I am sorry that I didn't appreciate it more and that often times my life frustrations distracted me. However, I will never forget this amazing place and the people that make it so alive. God bless you all as you continue to grow and reach out to those around you. May God give you wisdom, peace and joy always. May he guide your decisions and be ever present through your lives. I will miss you, but may we see each other again soon!

nothing to say

I found myself at a funeral this morning. My roomate's father died this past Saturday from a struggle with cancer. It was a Catholic funeral, which is always just a little foreign for me since I am not Catholic. However, despite the differences in litergy it made me weep. I don't understand all the pain in the world. I wish that I knew what to say right now. I wish I could help my friend more. I wish that people didn't die. I wish that we didn't have to grieve the loss of someone that we love...but it is part of life. Somehow it always overcomes me with sadness and a sense of awe that life is never really ours to control. We are going to die someday and we can't do anything to stop that. My grandparents will die, my parents will die, my children will die (if I ever have any). Someday, hopefully later rather than sooner, I will die as well.
I don't mean for this blog to be so depressing, but this is what I am wading through right now. Life is never ours to orchestrate. We act so many times like it is all under our control, but it's not. This time of life always challenges my faith as well. Do I really believe what I say I believe enough to state my life on it? I say that I do, but there is always a seed of doubt or disbelief in the back of my mind tempting me to say that I can go through life on my own. Lord help me make sense of this all.

moving sucks

I'm in the process right now of settling all that needs to be settled before I head out of Cincinnati (again). I have been in the process of moving WAY to many times in the past few years. To be precise, I have moved 5 times in the past two years. I am tired of moving. Mind you that the past three moves have been within the same city, but it's still a matter of packing, unpacking, settling, and re-packing again. This is the one apartment that I have felt is like a home to me. It is my place. My roomie and I have decorated. Things are actually coordinated to match, like a grown-up apartment. I have crap in every room of the apartment except my roomate's bedroom. I have settled here. Honestly, it's the first time that I have called Cincinnati "home" in the three years that I have lived here...and now I am moving away. I knew that this would be a challenge when I accepted a mission in Miami, FL..but it's still hard and I don't like it.

sauce the cat returns

For the folks who are just tuning in please refer to "sauce the cat" posted on August 4th for a full explanation of the events preceding this blog.
Sauce the cat has returned!! Yes that prodigal cat of Buca di Beppo has now been placed back at her rightful place, but not after quite a fight. Apparently some of Sauce's captors decided to write a ransom note to the managers of the restaurant that was not recieved well. The general manager, or "paisano" as they are called in Buca language, said that the note was in bad taste and "nearly criminal" in intent. The note included the ransom conditions that in order to get the cat back they must "whack" a member of the management team. Rumor has it that one of the managers took the note to be so threatening as to cry himself to sleep that night. This rumor is unconfirmed officially, but is definately funny enough to be posted on this blog! Imagine crying yourself to sleep over a ransom note for a 2' porcelain cat!! I mean seriously, that's just stupid.

Well, whether or not he cried himself to sleep or not this same rumored manager is said to be writing a letter to the corporate office claiming harrassment. Now mind you none of the employees at Buca enjoy this particular individual, and we do pick on him quite frequently, but harassment is definately over the top! Why doesn't he just write a note to corporate stating the fact that he is fair to poor in his job performance and is socially incompetent...that would be true!

So bottom line is that our "paisano" manager is looking for the culprits of the note. The writer of this blog was not involved in the writing of the note (even though I think it's funny), but does know who did write the note. So on behalf of those who may lose their jobs I returned Sauce and talked with the manager knowing three important peices of information that helped reassure me: 1. I did not write the incriminating letter. 2. The paisano likes me. 3. If I did get fired I am only at Buca for another week. I did not get fired, but am now being hassled to tell who wrote the letter. I say it's up to the writers to turn themselves in. What do you think?

I say that the whole incident is funny. Aside from the inappropriate note and the pending harrassment suit it was a good prank. And I'm sure that Sauce enjoyed it.

monday

Prepare yourselves...these are going to make no sense becuase it's Monday morning.

1. I hate it when my alarm clock goes off and I feel like throwing up becuase my body does not enjoy the shock of waking up early.
2. Cereal is my friend. I enjoy the plain kinds like Cherrios or Grape-Nuts. Natural and straightforward without marshmallows or funky colors. Like me.
3. I wish I knew more about technology so that I could get this sound system working so that I wouldn't have to sit here in silence all morning.
4. I am never going to finish this Hillary Clinton book. Good Lord this woman likes to ramble.
5. Is a coffeehouse still a coffeehouse if it runs out of coffee?
6. I have a headache. It's only 9am.
7. I have the night off. Maybe I'll do something fun. Or maybe I'll sit at home and watch TV and eat ice cream.
8. I am sad that I am moving soon. I like it here. Why am I leaving again?
9. I wish I could go back to sleep......NOW.
10. I love things clean. Especially when I'm not the one who had to clean them.
11. Coffee is my friend. Coffee and cereal...not together that would be gross.
12. JP came in...we now have music. I like music. I'ld like it more if you could eat it.
13. I am single and I like it. It's less complicated. Except for days when I want a boyfriend.
14. I like to eat, but I don't like to cook.
15. I do not like taking the trash out.
16. I don't like picking up after other people (physically as well as emotionally). Why can't people be responsible for themselves?
17. I do like good friends, the one's that you let see you when you are tired and dirty.
18. I enjoy shopping for bargains. Somehow getting something cheaper than anyone else makes me feel good.
19. I don't like change.
20. I do enjoy a good adventure!
21. I love to travel, but I prefer places that I've been before.
22. Purple is a good color.
23. I no longer have the night off...my manager called me and I need the money. I shall miss you re-runs and chocolate ice cream.
24. I love to talk to inanimate objects, like plants.
25. I enjoy saying the phrase "Good Hussle" with a little clap when someone does something that makes me smile. I stole that phrase from my friend Matt. Good hussle Matt!
26. I like to pet my chinchilla, he's soft.
27. I don't like those little hairs around my forehead...they always flip out weird.
28. I love comfortable clothes!
29. I hate shoes.
30. If I could have one super-power it would be flight. How cool would that be?
31. I wonder if I could handle law school.
32. I don't like impatient people. It's sad that I usually am one.
33. I wish that I were eloquent enough to write poetry.
34. Will I ever actually learn more than three chords on the guitar?
35. When will this blog end?

NOW.

sauce the cat

Alright folks, welcome back. I would like to tell you a little story. It is a story of a cat...a cat named Sauce.
Sauce the cat is not a real cat in the way that most people would define "real." She is a 2' tall black porcelain cat which we kidnapped from my work. Now Sauce was once trapped in a lonely section of the restaurant where she really didn't get much love until last night at about 5:30pm EST. She was at that time removed from her once permanent position and set free about the restaurant to wander. She would spontaniously appear in random places throughout the restaurant during the evening (i.e. the pizza kitchen, in the hallway, on the bartop, etc). Then when the restaurant was closing she was kidnapped and taken on a fun adventure.

We decided it would be hilarious to take Sauce for ransom. So we took pictures of her abduction with a Polaroid camera. There are pictures of her being removed from the restaurant, being blindfolded and put in a car trunk, and then being placed on the local railroad tracks. Don't worry, Sauce is safe and secure. After her ransom pictures were taken she accompanied us to the local pub where she got her picture taken with partying strangers. We now plan to write ransom notes and send them to our manager for a week or so. We are also placing her picture around the restaurant on signs saying: "Lost Kitty. Have you seen me??"

We'll see how much Sauce is worth, or if anyone even cares. But for right now, I would just like to tell you that all in all Sauce provided an entire evening of entertainment. It was probably one of the funniest things that I've been a part of in quite a while. Thank God for a sense of humor and for people that were as bored and easily entertained as I am.

invisibility

Ever wish you were invisible? I do. For example two nights ago at the restaurant that I work at, I wished many a time that I could dissapear. I am an extrovert, but sometimes (especially on days that I work both jobs) I wish that I could just be alone. Working two jobs where you are serving people just wears you out completely. You have to act as though you are happy that after working all day that you get the opportunity to serve yet another party of 10 at 10pm!! If you really said what you wanted to the kid who drinks 5 glasses of root beer and then whines to you that he wants another....his mom or dad wouldn't really tip you well. I have to give most of the customers credit...not everyone is annoying and most of them are pleasent. But as a waitress you can't help but be consumed by that one negative customer who drive you nuts and then tips you poorly. For example...the party of 5 who has a reservation (and still winds up waiting 30 minutes becuase the people currently sitting at their table are taking their sweet time getting up) and then blames you for the wait!! Or the one person who doesn't want mushrooms on their tortelloni and blames you when one slips in there. Or the customer whose pizza takes 45 minutes becuase the kitchen is backed up. I feel like screaming sometimes: "No you whiny brat, you can't have another root beer. Or, do you think I personally cooked your tortelloni???" What do these people think that I do everything? I just want to yell: "No, after carrying all 25 of your waters to your table I don't feel like refilling the jerk's glass who sucked his down before I even finished setting them all down on the table. How about I just bring a pitcher out for him and stick a straw in it to save myself some effort? I don't want to serve anyone else! I've had it."
It makes me think...did Jesus ever wish he was invisible?? Did he ever get sick of serving people all the time. I know that he didn't do it for money, but it's similar. People just take and take and take until you feel as though you've got nothing left to give. Did Jesus ever feel drained? I know that he would go off by himself for a while, but did he ever feel like telling people off or dumping hot coffee on their laps? I doubt it. Lord help me I want to be invisible.