Will I be the only one left?

My little sister is pregnant. Two of my best friends are getting married within a year of dating the men they are marrying. I think I'm equal parts thrilled and sad at the same time. I'm thrilled for new life and for new marriages (especially marriages that I endorse whole-heartedly!). However, I'm sad becuase I feel that once again I am getting left behind. The friends and family that I used to have so much in common with are passing me by and I am plugging away in Miami...tolerating it, but no way at home with it. They are "settling down" and I am beginning to be known as their crazy friend/sister who doesn't have the same address two years in a row and has a different boyfriend every couple of years. It makes me feel alone.
I still don't know what I want to "do with my life." Do I go to grad school and get my MSW, do I teach, do I just stick with the not-for-profit world, do I work at at church? Here, there, everywhere...I don't have a permanent address or a home phone number, or a personal computer. I'm in debt becuase of living a year of service. I'm just not too thrilled with my situation right now. I'm not asking for anyone's sympathy or even understanding....I'm just venting. I'll probably erase this later.

potluck tip #32

So today at work we had a potluck for Thanksgiving. I decided that I was going to make pie. Pie making has become a big thing for me recently and I make about a pie a month (for one reason or another). I think of it as edible artwork. I love making the crust from scratch.
Well, I have been telling people about my pies and how they will have to try it when I bring it for the potluck. People were asking me about them yesterday all during work. Last night I mixed and rolled and baked. Today I brought my prized pumpkin pies to the table alongside three flans and a carrot cake and I was sure that they would stand the test and be the finest dessert that anyone had tasted. Well, I take one bite of my own pie anticipating the flavor....and I was sadly dissapointed. The pie tasted like crap. It had no flavor. I tried another peice just to make sure that I wasn't imagining something...and the same dissapointment overcame my tastebuds. One of my co-workers tried their peice of pie after me and looked at me funny. Another person bit in and laughed. Turns out that in all my pie-making frenzy I forgot to add sugar.
Even my executive director made fun of me for it. I got hassled so much. Needless to say I will have to do something to make up for this experience and restore my pie-making reputation. But even if I bring in the best tasting pie in the world on Monday, I don't think I'll ever be asked to make a pie at work again. Maybe this isn't altogether a bad thing, maybe this is a tool that more people should use. If you want to get out of making something for a potluck...make the first one taste horrible and you will never be bothered again.

where is home?

I went "home" to Chicago this weekend and loved it. Believe it or not, I really miss the feeling of cold. I never thought that I would say that...but the sun really gets old after a while. I feel most "at home" in Miami on the rare days that it is atleast cloudy or raining. Overcast is comfy for me.
Anyway, I am really having a hard time right now resolving this "home" issue. Where is home? I have moved about 6 times and had about 5 jobs since graduation from LCC in 2002! The address on my drivers license says my folks address in IL, but I haven't lived there since 2000. I just don't know what else to put on it. I don't even know what state to put next when I have to renew my license this summer. I am not resolved to dwell anywhere long enough to put down the type of roots that result in a permanent address. A permanent address requires something permanent in nature- a job, a marriage, a family, home ownership. Some of my addresses I can't even remember...that's not even close to permanent.
I'm kind of numb and overwhelmed from all this change. I don't deal well with change and I'm not adventurous. If it were up to me I would have lived in the same place my whole life. But for some crazy reason I felt challenged by God to reach out of my comfort zone and I haven't settled down yet. But I feel the strain of not having a "home" and I can imagine (atleast in part) the feelings of Jesus as he wandered from place to place...longing for a "home." But his "home" was, and is, heaven. I miss the comforts Westmont, IL so much it makes me burst out in tears...I can't imagine leaving heaven and longing for that comfort. I don't know how Jesus wasn't just a blubbering mess sometimes. I would have lost it....I am losing it a little already.
So I struggle with this question: As a Christian...is it good to have a "permanent address" or should we always feel that long for "home" and never quite get there until we reach heaven?

not on my blog

I have come to notice that my blog is being used for advertising. I find this highly unusual, but also admire the people who thought of it. They post a comment on my blog that goes something like this: "Juliet you've got a great blog here....check out my cheap perfume site." I don't mind cheap perfume ads...I just don't really know what they have to do with my blog. I will see how this develops and what kind of advertisements I receive. Maybe I should charge banner space?